THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS DINNER


Here it is, our own personal guider to a tasty (not very clean) Christmas Dinner. Start to finish was 2hours and 30 minutes with no preparation. I bought everything from Lidl and it cost an incredible £20.37 – A Christmas Miracle

Follow these simple steps and you’ll have a plate of food thats, tasty, not too labour intensive and so delicious your family will be round every year.

Let’s go………


  • Calories
  • No one cares!
  • Protein
  • No one cares!
  • Carbs
  • No one cares!
  • Fat
  • No one cares!
  • 1 x 4kg whole turkey
  • 4 King Edward potatoes
  • 1 pack chantenay carrots
  • 1 pack baby parsnip
  • 1 medium carrot
  • 1 medium swede
  • 1 sprout tree (it’s a thing)
  • 3 tbsp chicken gravy
  • 1 lemon whole
  • 1 packet of thyme
  • 1 packet of sage
  • 1/4 block of salted butter, soft.
  • 1 packet stuffing mix
  • 4 chicken sausages
  • 12 rashers lean streaky bacon
  • 2 tbsp honey
  • Preheat oven to 250’c/Gas mark 9
  • Grab your bird, place it in a deep baking tray )preferably with a rack underneath.
  • cut the strings around the cavity so that the legs loosen. In the cavity place half the packet of time and a whole lemon.
  • Take the butter and rub the bird all over. Take a 1/4 of the packet of sage and chop finely. Sprinkle this on to the turkey and add plenty of salt and pepper.
  • Set a time for 30 minutes and put the turkey in the oven.
  • At the same time peel the potatoes and chop into roast potato shapes.
  • Peel the parsnips and cut in half.
  • Peel and dice the Swede and medium carrot.
  • Place 3 pans of water on the hob and bring to the boil. Add the carrot and swede to one (12 minutes), the parsnips and chantenay carrots(8minutes) to another and potatoes to the third (8minutes). When the times are done drain all of them. Re add the carrot and swede to the same pan and set aside. Set the chanteney carrots and parsnips aside as well.
  • When the timer sounds remove the turkey and baste with the juices from the pan. Drop the heat of the oven to 200’c/Gas mark 6 and cover the bird with parchment (loose) and foil (loose) and return to the oven. Set a timer for 45 minutes.
  • Once the potatoes are done drain in a colander and then use the colander to chuff them up a bit. Grab a roasting tray and place over two of the hobs with the heat on medium, add oil, smashed garlic cloves (8). Add the potatoes and fry in the pan so that they begin to crisp up on a couple of sides. Remove from the heat and add the remaining thyme. Place in the oven under the Turkey.
  • Now in a bowl add the stuffing and hot water and make into 2cm balls, flatten these into discs and add to a tray with parchment (use half the tray). On the other half of the tray you’ll be adding pigs in blankets (more about these below)
  • Grab the sausages and cut each one into 3 equal pieces. Wrap each one in a piece of streaky bacon with the end led on the tray. Cook the stuffing and the pigs for 10 minutes at the end.
  • Once the timer sounds again baste and place parchment and foil over and add for the final 45 minutes. Go and make a brew at this point (20 minutes – check the roasties and remove if nearly done.).
  • Grab the sprout tree and remove them, cut them in half. Drizzle in oil and season.
  • Remove the turkey from the oven.
  • Mash the carrots and swede and add butter and seasoning.
  • Now the final part – add the pigs in blankets and stuffing to the oven for 10 minutes.
  • Pop the roasties back in. Place the mash swede onto the hob to heat.
  • Add a frying pan to the hob with a splash of oil, throw in the baby carrots and parsnips and glaze with the honey and salt and pepper.
  • Cook the sprouts on a griddle pan or on a George Forman grill for extra char (use some parchment to keep the grill clean.
  • Mix the gravy with hot water (just a little) and add the juices from the pan to a sauce pan. Place on the heat and whisk to combine and heat through and thicken.
  • Carve the bird.
  • Once the pigs are done you’re ready to plate up!
  • And breath! You made it, have a large vino and enjoy your Christmas Dinner (make sure you aren’t washing up)

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